Onion Goggles

"Onions have a defense mechanism. No, they don't have impenetrable steel armor, or spikes, or adamantium skeletons. They rely, instead, on chemical weaponry. Now, before you go calling the Department of Homeland Security on your green-grocer, hear me out. Inside the cell walls of a typical onion are a collection of enzymes called ""allinase"" and ""prensco."" Normally separated, once you start to cut an onion, those walls breakdown, and those enzymes create 1--propenylsulphenic acid, which further break down into propanethial S-oxide gas. Those gases waft outwards from the onion, eventually dissolving into the tears that coat your eye, turning them into a mild sulfuric acid! Your tear-ducts produce more tears to help dilute the caustic chemical. All that knowledge isn't very helpful, though, when you're eyes are burning, but it does help to protect you next time you're chopping onions. If you know to keep that chemical out of your eyes, you'll be just fine. Our new Onion Goggles fit snugly over your eyes, sealing them up and protecting you from those sulfurous fumes. Okay, maybe they're not exactly the most fashionable kitchen accessory out there, but at least you don't have to be afraid of chopping onions any longer! Don't believe the old wives' tales - breathing from your mouth, burning a candle, wine-cork between your teeth… none of that works. Onion Goggles do! No more tears!"